Caillou Finds out the Truth about Park Characters
by WileE2005
Summary: A little tale about everybody's "favorite" bald four-year-old boy, when after a trip to Disneyland, things go wrong!
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER:** _Caillou is owned by Cookie Jar Entertainment, the usual copyright stuff._

At some house in Canada, a grandmother was getting ready to read a story to her grandkids, both of which owned a very ugly Caillou doll with blue overalls and a bald head. This grandmother was the narrator of Caillou's adventures and misadventures.

One of the grandkids, a blond-haired girl, held up the Caillou doll and said, "Grandma, can you read us another story about Caillou?"

The grandmother laughed and said, "Of course I can! You two children really love to hear about Caillou, don't you?"

"Of course," the other grandkid, a young boy with brown hair, explained. "We especially love it when Caillou's upset or when he misbehaves! It shows us how to NOT act."

"Then you two are going to LOVE this story," the grandmother said, opening the book. "Today's story is called…

**CAILLOU FINDS OUT THE TRUTH ABOUT THEME PARK CHARACTERS**

By WileE2005

Caillou was very excited. He and his family were going to take a big trip to Disneyland! Caillou was especially excited about seeing the many Disney characters there!

"I can't wait to see Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, Chip and Dale, and the rest!" Caillou said happily, as his daddy helped put on his grayish-white shirt, the same shirt he wore the times he was upset that they could not go to the circus, and when he got initially dropped off at a day care center, and when he got all upset over Rosie taking his teddy shirt, and when Caillou tried learning to skate with disastrous results.

"Yes, I know," Caillou's daddy said. But secretly, he dreaded nothing would go wrong on the trip.

…

Later, Caillou and his family got on the plane and headed over to Disneyland. Once arriving, they had the time of their lives. Caillou loved riding on Splash Mountain, and the Dumbo ride, and he even loved the Haunted Mansion. On the ride…

The family was now in the stretching hall of portraits, as the voice of the Ghost Host challenged them to find a way out. He laughed dementedly, and said "Of course, there's always MY way…"

At that moment, the room darkened, and lightning flashed as the sound of thunder erupted throughout the room, and the sight of a hanging corpse could be seen from the ceiling. Caillou's baby sister Rosie screamed really loud then clutched her mommy's leg bawling really loud. Caillou, however, found it a very cool effect, but was instantly annoyed by Rosie's crying. A loud scream echoed throughout the room followed by a crash of some sort. Caillou jumped and gasped at the sound, but unlike his sister, he just laughed, because he found it amusing.

"Oh, I didn't mean to frighten you prematurely…" the Ghost Host said, as the lights came back on.

"NO HAUNTED MANSION! NO! NO! NOOOOOO!" Rosie wailed.

"QUIET, Rosie!" Caillou insisted. He was not going to let his fearful baby sister ruin the ride.

…

After the ride, Caillou skipped out happily, but his parents looked weary, especially his mommy, who was holding her bawling baby daughter, Rosie, who did not enjoy the ride one bit.

"That was so cool, especially those mirrors with the hitchhiking ghosts!" Caillou said. "But I don't think Rosie should've come along. She's just a silly baby, and she's STILL crying!"

Caillou's daddy figured there was no point in arguing with his son.

…

Some time later, Caillou and his family were leaving a gift shop. Caillou had gone on many rides, seen many shows, and met various Disney characters. "Let's see," Caillou began listing off, "I saw Goofy, Pluto, Daisy, Tigger, Chip and Dale, Stitch, Buzz Lightyear, Sully, and Timon!"

"Good!" Caillou's mommy said. "Maybe soon we'll get to see Mickey Mouse."

"Oh boy!" Caillou cheered. "I can't wait!"

They hadn't walked far, when suddenly, a thug with a bald head, a scar around his left eye, a 5:00 shadow and a tattoo on the side of his neck, wearing a leather jacket, ran up to the family wielding a gun! "Stick 'em up!" the robber yelled. "Gimme what you've got or I'll shoot! I'll do it!"

Caillou was shocked. He never saw such a strange-looking man, and noticed he was holding a gun. "Look, mommy, he has a gun!" Caillou said.

"SHUT UP, KID!" the robber barked.

Caillou knew he had to be quiet, as the parents had no choice but to give up their money they had on hand. Little did they know, but someone behind them was calling the park police.

While one park official began running after the thug, another had taken them to a security area to ask them questions. The officer asked the parents to describe the thug, just to be safe.

"Well," Caillou's daddy began, "he had a shaved head, a tattoo on his neck, and a scar on one of his eyes…"

Suddenly, Caillou's daddy heard his son Caillou call out, "Look, daddy, there's Mickey Mouse. And his head is HUMAN! Ugh!"

The family turned to look. Sure enough, Caillou and Rosie were pointing out Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy and Pluto. Or what looked like them. Mickey had his mask off, revealing some stubbed middle-aged man underneath, and was trudging by the family. With him was a teenage girl in the process of pulling off her Goofy head, and having already removed her right glove, and Donald Duck stopped to pull off his webbed feet and unbutton his shirt. Pluto was also in the process of unzipping his suit, though he kept his head on, Caillou and Rosie could see a sweat-stained, ratty old T-shirt with bits of hair poking out from the neck underneath Pluto's skin.

"No! No, they're not real!" Caillou began crying. With a sob, he said, "I just saw them!" He cried, "They're not real!"

The man in the Mickey Mouse suit overheard this, and quickly put his Mickey head back on and began parading happily by the family, but alas, it was too late for poor Caillou.

"Daddy, I feel sick!" Caillou sobbed. "You lied to me. Mickey Mouse isn't a real mouse!"

"Come on, Caillou," his daddy tried to say, not really caring about the situation or his mood initially. "Come with us so we can have dinner at Daisy's Diner in Toontown."

But Caillou fell and sat on the ground, as he angrily said "NO! No I don't want to!" He tried playing with a nearby Winnie-the-Pooh doll, until the head fell off. "Silly old bear! Silly, silly, silly!" Caillou shouted, remembering why he was in a bad mood. Then he threw it on the floor, now at his most upset, and threw himself onto the floor, kicking his feet and pounding his fists. "WAAAAAAAAAAH!" he cried.

Rosie began bawling as well. After all, she had been exposed to the truth that the Disney characters were fake.

"Honey…" Caillou's mommy said, not amused with the fact that her husband was leaving her with her two upset children.

Caillou was sobbing and pounding his fists on the floor, and Rosie ran over to a shelf, screaming loudly. She began throwing books and papers off the shelf. Caillou's daddy heard the racket and ran back over to them. He saw Caillou, still throwing his tantrum, and Rosie, now lying on her back, screaming long and loud while thrashing about, all because they learned that the Disney characters were not real!

Caillou's daddy said, now starting to get angry, "Caillou. Rosie. Stop all this racket! You're disturbing the other characters!"

"You mean the FAKE CHARACTERS THAT ARE ONLY REAL HUMANS IN DISGUISE?" Caillou wailed.

The parents sighed. Their children were too out of control. They had no choice but to leave the park. They left just as the officer was chasing after them, shouting "Wait! You forgot your four free passes!"

…

Some time later, the family had arrived back home. But the problem was far from over…

"Let's go on another trip," Caillou's daddy announced, "this time to Canada's Wonderland!"

Caillou whined, "But what if we get there and we see that Yogi Bear is also phony?" He began crying again, and once again wailed, "WAAAAAAAH! MOOOOMMYYYYYYY!"

Rosie started crying as well, because she remembered the trauma from Disneyland.

"I see they haven't recovered from the Disney incident," Caillou's mommy said.

"That's it!" Caillou's daddy said. He knew things had gone too far now. He had been annoyed with Caillou in the past, but this was the last straw. "Call our lawyer. We're going to the courts. We're going to SUE DISNEYLAND!"

Caillou stopped crying all of a sudden, and gasped with his mommy.

TO BE CONTINUED…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two:

The trial was already underway. Caillou's parents were in the courtroom with their attorney. Caillou and Rosie were being looked after by their grandfather, the father of Caillou's daddy.

The parents claimed that the defendant Disney had caused mental distress in their children, now that they know that Disney characters are only make-believe. They did mention the robbery, but the unmasking characters were another major concern in their case.

During the trial, the evidence was given on behalf of the plaintiffs by an expert psychology professor from Harvard University, Prof. Hartley Rosenmark. He had come up to the front to explain about his theory he called "Cartoon Character Shock Syndrome," or C.C.S.S. for short. He had subjected mice to watching cartoons, and then a few days after, he would bring in an actor wearing a costume of the cartoon character they just watched.

He mentioned that he had played many Tweety cartoons for the mice, and in day three of the research after playing a couple of the films, he brought in a man wearing a Sylvester the Cat suit, whom then proceeded to remove his mask in front of the mice. Prof. Rosenmark had noticed that the mice refused to eat for days after that. He concluded that the mice had been having severe depression, and he then had to put Prozac in their food so they could return back to normal.

After the incident had occurred, a couple of days before the trial went underway, the professor had examined Caillou and Rosie.

"Yes, Cartoon Character Shock Syndrome is indeed a horrific trauma," Prof. Rosenmark concluded while at the stand, "and from what I have seen, I have no doubt that little Caillou and Rosie are traumatized for life. C.C.S.S. is generally irreversible."

A little while later, Caillou's mother had mentioned about how when she and Daddy offered to take the kids on another trip, the kids got upset again because they figured the characters there "were also phony."

One of the defense council attorneys asked the professor, "But what if the kids would see Santa Claus removing his beard and wig?"

"OBJECTION!" the parents' attorney shouted out. "That question is quite irrelevant for the case here."

The defense attorney said, "But in California we don't even HAVE a Santa Claus!"

The parents and their attorney gasped, along with the judge and half the jury.

"I suppose that guy doesn't think Rudolph even exists either," Caillou's daddy whispered to the lawyer.

…

Eventually, the verdict arrived. The court did not like the defendants' behavior throughout the trial, and they awarded damages to Caillou's family in the form of four million dollars: two million for general damages, one million for punitive damages, and another million for aggravated damages.

"YES!" the parents and attorney shouted at once.

Everyone in the audience began to cheer and applaud at Caillou's family and their victory. But Disney was not so happy. The family had been banned for life from ever stepping foot into Disneyland again.

"However, you may feel free to visit our Walt Disney World resort in Florida or sail on our cruise line, or even visit the Paris and Tokyo Disneyland parks," the Disney representative said.

…

The family was now rich! They decided to keep their nice house, but they managed to fix it up quite a bit on the inside, and Daddy was promoted to an executive at his office! Even Caillou had improved greatly; he was now usually behaving and not always being bratty. He seemed to develop more of an adventurous personality, and had thrown away his gray T-shirt in favor of some new yellow ones they bought at a fancy clothing store.

Caillou's friends Leo and Clementine had heard of the story on the news, and wanted to hear the whole thing from Caillou. They were shocked at the truth of Disney's characters, and yet amazed at how Caillou's parents managed to successfully sue Disney!

THE END

Disclaimer: The trial sequence was based off an old phony news article from 2000 involving the "Dudley" family suing Disney for the same reasons; this article can't really be found online anywhere these days.


End file.
